Newspapers / The Fool-Killer (Pores Knob, … / May 1, 1921, edition 1 / Page 1
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Volume XI. "THE PRESENT ORDER It seems sorter out of place to tuther day. A man was adver say "the Present Order" when tising a Ford for sale, and as well it is so very evident that 'The as.1 can remember it went some Present Disorder" would be more thing like this : appropriate. There is no order "For sale, one Ford about ten years in the world today. Everything old; is disorder, and getting more dis- Going at a bargain must be sold. orderly with every tick of the You can use it for anything you clock. please? But you know the old fogies From cleaning out wells to climbing and stand-patters talk about trees. "The Present Order" meaning The only thing that it seems to lack ' the Capitalist System of govern- ment that has been in VOgue OV- sr the world for many genera- tions. And they say that system is the most wonderfully perfect thing that ever was, and it just must be preserved and per- petuated in all Of its original glory. Y7ol 1 in erf cvr avtA rnr 1 your eyes wander about over the Clutch is loose and the brake won't world and behold the wreck and nold- ruin that this same glorious Got no tires runs on the rim; ; "Present Order" has caused. At Dam ood Pord for the fix its the beginning of the "time ot 1 - trouble" and for hundreds of ASK YOUR PREACHER. . years back every nation was a - . capitalistic nation. The capita- Here is a question that you list theory of government held might ask your preacher the absolute sway everywhere. If it next time he comes to pull chick was such a perfect system of en leg wjth you : government, why didn't it keep k Adam and Eve had obeyed the world running smooth and God, would they have died and prevent the awful wreck that has g0ne to heaven after awhile?" . . UvVfi st try it, and see what his ff & d 1 answer will be. .If he sys they ar iYUlt would not have died at then The champions of the capita ask him if they would have gone list system cannot deny that to heaven alive, body and all, their system was to blame for with their shoes on. this terrible smash-up. Ger- tp i, 0. w twTnSS to the bone. They were all rid- mg on the capitalist car and do- ing things in the approved capi-j tanst way. But you see what happened. r,A ,. - miwlvM mnnt wiT old car that wrecked us. They admit that some of the whAl are gone, and the axles terribly twisted, and the sides caved in. and the boiler busted, but still e League of- (abomi) Na the plutes think it is a pretty tions is dead, but President good old car and safer than any- Jlardtimes seems willing to take thing else on the road. a few 0f its bones and mate t.hfim ine way the plutes i and capita- lists are praising their old wreck of a system and recommending cat's name would improve th something else to do besides loi it as a good car for the world to 1 sell. "Mop around in easy chairs, smok- Boomer, North Carolina, May, 1921. ride hfagain, reminds me of MX advertisement I saw in a paper Is the habit of going and coming back, Some of the piston rings are broke Don't takenothin' to make it choke, Engine misses more than it hits; Youve got to cuss it until it quits, Timer's worn , til it ain't no good; Somebody's throwed away the hood. Ore rirn busted and three spokes loose, Fenders rattle to beat the, deuce. Hard to start when the weather's cold. spent eternity, anyhow, seeing f,af ho iv'- ,s' ma oi, a S :ln" ClLZn,; It won't take many such ques tions as that to wind him up. About as good a way as any to convince people that the popu- ST T q T !lon.? that- Before they real- iw.Tnf it ngled "P aDU no place to Eet out over into an "association of na- rms " A if ianr, SMOKING TO BEAT HELL. The above heading is not pro fanity. You surely don't think the editor of a great religious pa per would cuss. No, it is only a plain statement of fact, as I will show you in just a minute. You know General Sherman said war was hell. All right. And you know that the League of Nations was gotten up to pre vent war. That is, to b at war. In other words, to beat hell. So you see that whatever is done at a meeting of the League of Nations - is doneforthe pur pose of beating hell. The following paragraph, which I clip from an exchange, will con vince you that the delegates to the Spa Conference did a consi derable, amount of smoking, and considering the circumstances and the amount of smoking done, I think they must have been smoking to beat hell. "The Belgian Government has filed a written dun witn tne secretary 01 the League of Nations, demanding that that otherwise functionless body pay a $10,000 cigar bill contracted by its members who held the famous Spa Conference. While the League of Na tions conference was holding that meeting, the Belgian authorities took over for their benefit all the hotels, taxicabs and restaurants in order to accommodate the delegations, and all the bills contracted by the League of Nations while in council have been paid except the entertainment bill. The Belgian Government has propos ed to cancel the bill, providing the Council will pay the $10,000 for the cigars smoked." Exchange. And what do you think of that, Jeems Henry? The entertainment bill! For pity's sake! What a terrible amount of "en tertaining" it must take to run the Leg of Mutton excuse me, I mean the League of Nations for a few days. Andif just the one item of cigars amounted to $10,000, what do you suppose the entire bill must have been? If them Tom-Dicks were there f" any good purpose it looks to me like t.hev would have had Number 3.fl ing cigars and being entertained at the public expense. If they were there to stop war, goodness knows there was plenty of it to stop, and all that swell entertaining shows how little they really cared about the suf f ering of the world. All the high-class cigar smoke they can puff will never stop a battle nor ease a pain. ' No Hold on Maybe Fm too fast. . Maybe there is ONE way tha$ smoking cigars might stop war If all them smokers would ga and blow their 30,000-volt breath m the faces of the fighting armies-1 have an idea they wouldl stop fighting mighty quick. They'd just have to stop. It would be wusser than gas And maybe that's the way tha Leg of Mutton I mean the League of Nations is going to stop war. But any way you take it, that! delegation at Spa certainly did smoke to beat hell. Handing is nearly as sorry 3 correspondent as I am. I wrote him a letter about Debs on the 4th of March and he hasn't ans wered it yet. And at last accounts he hadn't done what 1 4told him to, either. If Debs had been a mil lionaire he would have been re leased and appointed to a Cabinet job. "Get the money, boys; get til HOnS Hi BUTTERCUPS" A Little Book of Verses by Cora Wallace Pearson This little book of poems was writ ten by the wife of James Larkio Pearson, editor of The Fool-Killer. The book contains about 20 poems, ft ew written in the author's girlhood lays, but most of them in later life. It is neatly printed, and has a pic mre of the author. I will send you me postpaid for 25 cents, and I will also throw in for good measure an jther little book entitled "An Auto biographical Sketch of James Larkin Pearson," giving a complete history jf The Fool-Killer and its editor.! rhis history booklet will be of srpec al interest to all you folks who en joy reading the paper. Both booklets together for 25 cents. Order today right now. Address: Mrs. Cora Wallace Pearson. Boomer, N. C.
The Fool-Killer (Pores Knob, N.C.)
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May 1, 1921, edition 1
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